=] =? Life just got a lot more confusing. I think I'm done making hard decisions...for now at least. I think I'll just go with the flow and see what comes next.

please don't
write me off
for what you see
on the surface
please don't
think you
have me figured out
please don't
mistake me
for someone's
small-minded stereotype
don't be surprised
if I act unaccordingly
to your expectations
do not
mold me into
what you wanted me to be
I'm more than what you think
I'm better than that

The other day I was curling my eyelashes and I noticed one of my lashes fell out. I held it on the tip of my index finger and I thought to myself...what do I want to wish for? What do I want? Since when do people ever really know what they want? I know I want everything, money, comfort, passion, ecstasy (it's not that money comes first, it was just the most obvious one) ... but none of those seem like a wish. So to replace one vague desire with another, I thought "a happy ending" and I blew it away. That's all anyone really wants right? To leave this earth knowing that the life we lived was worth the efforts, the moments of happiness outweigh the sorrow, and that we took away something of value from our experiences. So when it's all over, we end it content and without regrets. Yeah,

la la la

so....Friday was fun. =] oh my gosh...what am I doing? I'm starting to fall...pretty hard. and I'm not supposed to. oh great. I think I'm about to enter some pretty dangerous territory. I'm still no wiser than I was as a teenager. Will I ever grow up? I guess not. haha

I don't think I need another roller coaster ride right now, although I'd love to be at a theme park right now. aaagggghhhh what am I DOING??? I feel loopy haha. I also feel like I don't ever want to put myself in a situation where I could potentially get hurt, EVER AGAIN, because I am a coward.

so I've been so scared of getting hurt that I forgot that I don't want to do any of the hurting.

a couple of things I've noticed. When we're young, like REALLY young, we don't want to stand out. Being different is sort of scary. What will people think? Who wants to go to school thinking people can see your quirks and talk about them behind your back? As we grow up, we know better. Blending in really gets you nowhere. That's how I feel with this job-search process. I need an edge, something to make me stand out. I'm so impatient. I want to get my life started already. PRONTO!

Aside from that thought, there are some people who just never grow out of their juvenile phase, *ahem* my parentals...my BOSS ugh. momma was mad at me so she passive-aggressively walked around me to get a napkin...just 1 napkin, none for anyone else...yeah, real mature. *rolls eyes* boss lady thinks she's being tough by threatening to take away the fridge. WHATEVER. that is SO lame.

When I get home tomorrow, time to wipe this OS with a new one.
Ok, here ends my random and somewhat cryptic post. haha